Great Leonoptryx

This vicious creature,with wieghtless fire coloured ,wings glides in the dark shadows below the clouds of pandora.Spying on her diserabel prey,it  plummmets to the ground.      It’s prey unsuspecting of it’s surroundings has a sudden glimpse of her  coming down .       It tries to slip into it’s undergrowth.It shivers nervously and begins to sweat.                        The deadly creature gets nearer and nearer and reveals its ferocious claws .                           Will the squabbit survive?

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6 Responses to Great Leonoptryx

  1. Nadia says:

    Great post I like how you left it on a cliff hanger.

  2. Mr W. says:

    Packed full of powerful words, interesting sentence structure and a question at the end leaves me wondering… did it survive?!

  3. Miss D says:

    Super use of a rhetorical question!

  4. Young ho says:

    I have read your ‘Pandora’s Great Leonoptryx’. It was fantastic! There was rhetorical question, and some very good describing words (powerful words), it is exciting too.
    I think it was really wonderful and I thought it was awesome. Oh, ya! I have almost forgot this… Your caracter’s description was good. I think you are really CREATIVE.

  5. Nadya says:

    Having read your wonderful story, I think you have written an astonishing piece of work. I would like to read lots more of your storys! This fantastically written text has blown my mind to pieces, this writing was so descriptive that it made me really scared. You have used phenomenal adjectives on your outstanding piece of work. Thank you for writing this and well done.

  6. leon says:

    I love this piece of writing I don’t think there is anything to improve. I love the sentence with weightless fire and the word diserabl.

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