The unknown by Rose and Bradley.

This majestic thing, with eyes filled with red spitting flames, soares high above pandaora . All of a sudden, it swoops down  into the  water  making a mighty splash.  It quickly glides up spying it’s scrumcous meal – a Squabbit, Squabbit ses a dot chasing after him, he dashes off like a lightning bolt. He was out of sight and  from that moment  Squabbit  was gone and the mysterious thing fly’s off spreading it’s bright purple turqoise  wings . It was then covered by the water , closing it’s eyes and resting his sleepy head.

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6 Responses to The unknown by Rose and Bradley.

  1. Shardaina says:

    great description.well done

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  2. Mr W. says:

    You have used some fabulous powerful vocabulary guys.
    I’m a big fan of ‘majestic’ and ‘swoops’.

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  3. Miss D says:

    What fantastic pronouns, adjectives and adverbs. I shall be sharing this with my Year 5 class tomorrow! Well done.

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  4. Min Hui says:

    Hi I’m Min Hui, I’m from a school in Malaysia with ms D, I really think your writing was wonderful. When I read your paragraph was really stuck into your writing wondering what will happen next? Will the Squabit survive for long? Is there another predator going to chase him? I loved the way you described the words with amazing adjectives, I also like the way you make the simile blend into your story. The way you made the characters feel was amazing. There were mixes of emotions: Scared, relived, excited etc. and your characters sounds exciting, the last character I made was a guy named Doomsausage! This writing is one of the most fab writing I’ve ever read.

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  5. Gavin says:

    Hi my name is Gavin, I am Ms D’s student. What nice work you did

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  6. hannah says:

    WOW your text is amazing and fab in one word. The description in this text lures me in wanting to read more – what is it what is it i wonder as you keep describing this “majestic thing”.My latest text was about a girl trapped in space!

    Yours Truly

    Hannah

    student of miss D

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